Once we become moms, it is super common to lose ourselves. We look up one day from the dirty diapers and spit-up to find that we have lost our purpose, our direction.
While supporting and caring for our kids is definitely important, we also need to care for ourselves. We need purpose in our lives and direction so that we can feel fulfilled. It will make us better mothers, better family members, and better people.
Think back to a time when you had lots of big dreams. Dreams for yourself. Think about those dreams and determine if they are still dreams of yours. Write down any that still apply.
Then think of new dreams. Dream big. What do you. want to do, have, become? Add these to your list as well.
Put your list somewhere that you will see it everyday like near your toothbrush, or in your journal, or on the lock screen of your phone. Seeing these dreams every day will encourage you to make the dreams a reality.
Do Something You Love
What is something that you really loved to do before kids? Maybe you liked to dance. Maybe you liked to knit. Maybe you liked rock climbing. Make plans to make it happen.
Not only are you to plan on doing the activity, but you are to schedule it, set it in stone, make all necessary arrangements, and prioritize. It is now a non-negotiable. Doing things that you love is just as important as that work meeting or that doctor's appointment. Make sure it gets done.
Break it Down
Sometimes when we are lost, it's not because we lack goals, but we just have no idea how to get there. We have goals that have been on our list for years, but we have made zero progress.
Goals are not something you can set and then they just magically happen if you think about them enough. You need to make a plan.
If you don't know where to start, start at the end. Let's say your goal is to lose 24 pounds in the next 6 months. Then you can break that down to 4 lbs a month. This seems far more achievable.
Then you say your goal is to lose 4 lbs a month. So you make a plan. You will eat out only twice a week, and you will exercise 4 times a week. Decide whether you will go to the gym or workout at home. If at home, set a time on your schedule. Pull out any DVDs you might use and make sure you have any equipment needed.
Make sure you grocery shop regularly so you don't get stuck eating out more than you intend. By breaking it down and planning ahead, you make it far easier to follow through and achieve your goals.
Think Powerful Thoughts
Remember that you have the ability to control your destiny. You can make your dreams happen, even with kids around. And you should because your kids want to see you happy and fulfilled. They want to see the happy future that is possible for them when they grow up.
Read daily affirmations and meditate on them. Or write your own in your journal. I write an "I am ..." affirmation daily in my journal. Sometimes I write what I am, a loving mother who devotes time to her children, a motivated worker who accomplishes tasks daily. Other times I write what I want or hope to be. Like a self manifesting destiny. If I believe it about myself, then I will act that way and eventually it will be true of me.
So I might say I am someone who values taking breaks. It might not be true today. I might be constantly pushing myself to get things done. But if I tell myself that I am someone who values breaks then I will start taking them and eventually become the person I tell myself that I am.
If you are having trouble figuring out your purpose or setting good goals for yourself, maybe you need help. Talking it out with someone you trust can really help to better understand what you want and need in life.
Find a mentor, or life coach, or friend, or counselor that you can talk to. Have a chat and be open to the tools and guidance that they provide. Some times other people can provide great incite on what our strengths are which can help us find our purpose.
Have you ever felt lost on your motherhood journey? Share in the comments.
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