Being a mom comes with a lot of pressure. We want to be everything our moms were to us and more. We see other moms on Pinterest and Instagram and Facebook and we feel like there is so much more we could be doing, we should be doing.
There are the moms with fashion sponsorships who seem to always be put together with their children in perfect, most adorable outfits. Then there are the Pinterest moms throwing the picture perfect birthday parties and crafting up a storm with their kiddos.
Then there are the moms who are killing it in business but still have all those adorable pics with their kiddos and hilarious anecdotes from family time.
The secret to being the best mom ever is realizing that they all are the best moms ever and so are you.
There has never been a perfect mom. Every mom makes mistakes, or forgets something, or loses her temper. We’re human. So even the bestest of the best is not perfect.
That means we can throw that goal of needing to be the perfect mom to be the best right out the window. Not one of those amazing moms we follow on social media is perfect, and if it seems like they are, they are hiding something.
Now that we got perfection out of the way, the true secret to being the best mom is paying attention to your kids and being the mom you want to be.
So first, paying attention to your kids. You are their mom, you know them better than anyone else. Trust your instincts. If you think something is off, talk to them. Stay watchful. Talk to the other people they spend's time with like their teachers or your spouse and see if they see what you are seeing.
Now using instincts doesn’t mean assuming you know everything, so do your research too and talk to experts if you think something is seriously off. Being the best mom means noticing and then taking action whether that means a simple conversation, cheering them up, or getting them help.
Being The Mom You Want To Be
The second part is being the mom you want to be. This can be hard especially in this day and age. We see what other moms are doing everywhere we go. Even when we are at home we can’t escape. We see moms on TV and social media, everywhere.
We see what they are doing and at first glance we want to do that too. We think how can I make more time for craft projects or baking together, or going on outings?
The thing is often times if we thought about it a little longer, we would realize that we don’t really want to do those things. They look appealing because we see happy moms spending time with happy kids and we want to have happy times too.
But, as Shakespeare said “To thine own self be true.” That mom you see might be super patient with her kids when crafting and her kids might love crafts. You on the other hand might become a dictator at craft time wanting everything just so. For you and your kids, it might be a torturous way to spend time together.
Pay attention to what your kids like to do and what you like to do and find the common ground there. Do the things that you enjoy and make you all happy. You don’t have to do everything, you just have to do the right things.
It can be helpful to take a little time to think about the kind of mom you want to be. What are the kind of activities that are important to you? What traditions do you want to maintain? How do you like spending time together?
Not every mom is Holly homemaker and that’s OK. It’s OK to not be the mom with freshly made snacks on the table as soon as your kids get home, or the mom who is at the park every single day.
Your kids don’t need that mom. They need you. The mom who loves them and is proud of them and would try to be those other moms if she had to, but luckily she doesn’t.
The fact that you have the goal of being the best mom ever means you probably already are. You can appreciate what those other moms are doing and at the same time realize it’s just not for you.
So when you feel those pangs of jealousy or the feeling that you are less than because you haven’t done X with your kiddos, take a second to think about it. Is this something you actually want to do? Would it bring you and your kiddos joy or would you be doing it out of obligation or to keep up with the Joneses?
If it is something you all would love and you just never thought of it before, by all means adopt the activity. But if not, give yourself permission to not be that mom. Your kids already have the best mom and it’s you!